Some Crystal for Crystal

Listen to “For Good” From Wicked when reading this blog. Its what I listened to while writing it. 

Youtube link

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Jx3rjS_vSM4

This week is the week of goodbyes.  They started on Sunday saying goodbye to one of my favorite people, Stewart, the Boys Brigade Captain, and it hasn’t let up since.  He made a speech about my time in the BB and had one of the boys present me with a gift.  The box said Crystal for Crystal and had a lovely crystal jewelry box inside.  And that’s when it hit me in the gut.  Goodbye isn’t a future thing anymore; its now. 

Goodbyes are hard, especially when you aren’t just saying goodbye to people. I’m saying goodbye to people, a place, and a life.  I left a lot behind going into Young Adult Volunteer and I have to say there haven’t been too many moments that I’ve looked back.  But this week I find myself looking back a lot thinking about where I was and who I was then and looking at who I am now.  A lot has changed.

I knew a long time ago that the people I have gotten to know and love here have changed me for the better.  They have challenged me and supported me and showed me truly what it means to be a good person and to live out the Christian faith I lost a little of somewhere in my college journey.  They renewed my faith in people.  I now remember why I believe people are good, not selfish, and found my positive outlook on the world again. 

But it wasn’t until this week I realize what I truly mean to them.  They have taken the week to say goodbye to me.  Telling me how grateful they are for what I’ve done for them and how much they’ll miss me, how nice its been to get to know me this year.   They have gone above and beyond, I mean talk about a finale. The gifts offered are lovely, thoughtful and will be cherished forever.   But the real gift is in the moments when you, people of Belfast chose to say goodbye.  People I had no idea I meant much to at all wanted a moment just to say goodbye to me.   The fact that saying goodbye meant anything at all to you means everything to me. 

I have refrained from saying the word goodbye. I say “I’ll be seeing you” and here’s why.  A card I received puts it perfectly, I’m not really leaving you behind.  I’m taking all of you with me and leaving some of myself behind.   Because I knew you, all of you, I’ve been changed for good.

So thank you.  To the man at Newington who sent me jokes and debated me for hours at the Christmas party and the old women I looked forward chatting to each Wednesday. 

To the people of WAVE who shared their stories with me. Who trusted me enough to share their most difficult moments of their lives and took me into their family as one of their own.  The men and women who opened my eyes to the real Belfast and showed me how people can overcome anything.  You are some of the strongest people I have ever met and I know I will find strength through you to overcome anything that comes my way. 

To the youth club for challenging me and stretching me more then I ever thought I would be.  To the kids showing me what it means to have patience and that youth work is a necessary and entirely rewarding experience.  I will miss you and the high pitched way you say Crystal with an eye roll.

To a congregation who reminded me why having a community is so important.  Where to begin… How about Christmas? To those who made Christmas in Belfast as good as it would have been at home if not better.  A man who saved my Christmas Eve by asking me to go to a service with him, the family who brought me into their home and the congregation who made it a mission to fill my Christmas tree.  To all of you who invited me into your home for lunch or dinner. I cherish these evenings because I got to know you and you me.  Especially to the woman who invited me to so many lunches her home began to feel like my home. To the Bible Study who stuck with me as I struggled at the start and humored my often overly liberal religious views and love of Rob Bell.  I want to thank you for challenging me, disagreeing with me, and letting me be a part of your journey of faith and you mine.  To the team.  Being a part of you was an amazing experience and I am honored to have been a part of the amazing journey you are on.  Great things will come from you and from each Friday morning.  To you who each Sunday morning asked about my life and greeted me with a smile.  To the women (and sometimes Jonny, Mark, and Richard) of the Restore Prayer group sharing in some gossip and craic before taking a moment to talk together to the God who brought us together.  To the family who adopted me as their own.  There are not words to describe how much I will miss you.  

To the people who started this journey with me.  The YAVs.  And to the man who brought us here.   I thank you for seeing something in me I don’t think I even realized in myself at the time.  For choosing me. I especially thank you for the last few weeks.  For putting up with my tears and anxieties and keeping me grounded.  Your patience is astounding.

I could go on forever but feel I should wrap it up because if any of you are still reading you must be thinking what a soppy git. But I would like to conclude by saying thank you to you, my readers.  For wanting to know what I have been doing. There have been many occasions that I’m shocked to see that anyone actually reads this. So thank you, for your curiosity, your prayers and your thoughts.    I don’t even know who you are, but I would like to know.  Who has been following me?  I want to hear from you.  I want to know who you are.  Comment. Email. (Christina.m.tammen@gmail.com). Whatever.  Something whether a comment, a question or just your name, I want to know so you can be in my prayers and my thoughts.  

So this ridiculously cheesy, soppy post is over and its time to turn off Wicked dry my tears and pack some of my bags.  See you this time next week U.S.A.